How about some Kindness for yourself?

I love kindness – it really should be thrown about like confetti.  Can you remember the last time someone was unexpectedly kind, how it made you feel?

I love that feeling, a card in the post, an unexpected email to say thank you, or just someone helping you out when you need it the most.

As the wonderful Maya Angelous said

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

But the big question is – how kind are you to yourself?  How do you make yourself feel?

It’s often very easy to be kind to others but when it comes to ourselves we’re our worst critic.

We can beat ourselves up, we say horrible things to ourselves and we’re just generally hard on ourselves.  I think it’s human nature but it is possible to change this.  It is possible to be kind and compassionate to ourselves.

But where to start?

Listen to that inner voice

Become aware of your inner dialogue.  It can really impact how we feel about ourselves but can also impact our mood day to day.  Are there any habits playing out?  Things you keep telling yourself over and over again?  First of all become aware of them and then change them.  You can change your inner dialogue.

Remember, you have been criticising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. – Louise Hay

Treat yourself like a good friend

I often say to my clients would you say or do that to a friend?  The answer is always no.  So start treating yourself like a good friend.  Get to know yourself and nurture your relationship.

Give yourself that pat on the back!

When we’re striving for the next thing, when we’re looking around at what other people are doing we can forget to take stock of where we are, everything we’ve achieved.  So take a moment to pause, say well done and even do something to celebrate.  And then get in the habit of noticing your successes, and celebrating them regularly.  Think of different things to celebrate that are right just for you.  When I launched by website I took myself off to my local deli, with my book I was reading at the time and had a few hours just to myself – no champagne involved but just what I wanted.

Get some affirmation cards

There are loads out there and these are great.  When you need a little pick-me-up you can grab a card with a message just for you.

Your toolkit

Have a list of things that are in your toolkit – your toolkit to look after yourself and to treat yourself well.  So a nice bath, lighting your favourite candles, going out with friends, reading your favourite magazine or book, a yoga class – whatever it may be, write your list now and turn to it when you need a little bit of extra kindness for yourself.

If your compassion does not include yourself, it’s incomplete.  – Jack Kornfield

This article was written for Proper Post by Nicky Duffell who is a registered nutritional therapist and Mum to 2 gorgeous kids. She’s passionate about health and wellbeing, and everyone looking after themselves so that they have the energy to deal with whatever this crazy life has to throw at us. Find her at Nicky for Life